Pop Clutter

Its all about the debris that fills up every moment of your life.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

People Buy This Crap?!





The reports in the business press and the financial shows tell us that the economy is good. The only proof you need to prove this fact is that people will buy just about anything. There is nothing in the world so bad that there isn't someone who is willing to pay money for it. This is the cornerstone of our American economy. Its never more apparent than when one sets foot in Walmart. Walmart's whole existence is dependent on this premise. No matter what people may say about them (good or bad). There can be no doubt that Walmart sells a lot of crap. In fact today, I spoke to the person in charge of their crap department and she informed me that they sells billions of dollars a year (in that store alone).

Today my crack research team and I took a trip to a small-town Super-Walmart to beat the late October rush on toilet paper. What we found instead was 5 aisles of Haloween candy. It was enough sugar to rot the few remaining teeth of those small town residents. One item was particuliarly sinister in its sweetness, Candy-Corn Taffy.















It's a combination of America's two least popular candies into a candy that is somehow even less popular than its components. Its reverse synergy on a scale thats been unseen thus far. I can't imagine that the person who came up with it still gainfully employed as a candymaker. I was tempted to buy it for experimental purposes so I could share my horror story with you wonderful reader. But, I couldn't bear to part with the two dollars for the one pound bag (aka "Lifetime Supply"). If someone else bought it, I would probably try it. Unfortunately,There's no guarantee I would live to make an actual review.


The only candy corn related product that comes close in sheer awfulness is:




The less I say about this canned puke the better.


Oh well.

1 Comments:

Blogger Maven said...

Trust me when I say that everyone I gave a piece to at work, thought it was delish. Addictive even:)

3:41 PM  

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